Ok. The reason i still stick around sri Aurobindo and the mother is that i always make a fist and bite a little , my hand.... [ under trying circumstances and mange to ride the storm and watch the victorious lord gaining a little ground and return to his home, with the arrival of content and happiness and hope and faith]
and manage to see a glimmer of success of their way in these severe testing conditions i live in, what's more you ask?.... Truth has no alternate if you are honest and sincere and frank towards your masters.
Friday, April 8, 2011
Friday, April 1, 2011
Me, my [ self - Mr. hank] and the psychic
You can dismiss the character Hank in the movie Me myself Irene as a schizophrenic, but it is a very honest character, one that am totally identified with, yeah you can talk all sense and wisdom and rational crap, really but most of the time you feel like speakin your mind out on these utter nonsense around you, actually you feel like cracking the living shit out of these thousand invisible glances judgements and nuisances that are always swarming around you, you deal with them through silence first and then when you have settled silence a little more better with peace, and then when you are totally in psychic you don't even feel them in any of your parts, even if they are felt they feel like a little insect banging on a mountain. i've done them. But how do you do that on a constant basis without losing your grip, now that's not gonna happen unless my life changes radically,
also the state of perfection one should be at in this life, which is described by Mother herself, it is courage down to the level of the nerves not even your nerves should tinge, that is courage, i do not have it and i lose it in a state of passion or in a state of a challenge posed either through work or through the environs, anybody saying he does yoga without having that steel of a courage in the nerves always is fooling himself for money and security being with the lord.
the problem is you can fix a regular work and keep all things at bay following this procedure life long but, but ,but , when it is a question of learning under immense financial and time shortage, that is where you are squeezed and thoroughly tested.
But then this process as is prescribed by mom and sri aurobindo can be practiced in an environment that is controlled, i mean mom wouldn't let anynone even enter her room, even when they did enter the room she 'd hardly talk to them, she first invites people on the condition of silent meditation with her and then takes it forward depending on the results, now that is my problem with this process called yoga. Basically she controls her environs not just she even aurobindo 'd have done the same.
Now i dont say am tryin to be them, am not talkin about them, but really i dont want to hang around them for being gopi, bull shit , i came to them with self perfection as a goal, but their procesess are like have been designed in an ashram environment ,not for a guy who lives in a 5 tenant rabbit hole mosquito swarming hot furnaces, with an asshole neighbour, a drunken father, a fearful mother with a tight financial budget always, and her son me with a lofty no compromise kind of quality aspiration. am not doing any fuckin yoga that doesn't lead me to a result in this life. fuck you maa..............
also the state of perfection one should be at in this life, which is described by Mother herself, it is courage down to the level of the nerves not even your nerves should tinge, that is courage, i do not have it and i lose it in a state of passion or in a state of a challenge posed either through work or through the environs, anybody saying he does yoga without having that steel of a courage in the nerves always is fooling himself for money and security being with the lord.
the problem is you can fix a regular work and keep all things at bay following this procedure life long but, but ,but , when it is a question of learning under immense financial and time shortage, that is where you are squeezed and thoroughly tested.
But then this process as is prescribed by mom and sri aurobindo can be practiced in an environment that is controlled, i mean mom wouldn't let anynone even enter her room, even when they did enter the room she 'd hardly talk to them, she first invites people on the condition of silent meditation with her and then takes it forward depending on the results, now that is my problem with this process called yoga. Basically she controls her environs not just she even aurobindo 'd have done the same.
Now i dont say am tryin to be them, am not talkin about them, but really i dont want to hang around them for being gopi, bull shit , i came to them with self perfection as a goal, but their procesess are like have been designed in an ashram environment ,not for a guy who lives in a 5 tenant rabbit hole mosquito swarming hot furnaces, with an asshole neighbour, a drunken father, a fearful mother with a tight financial budget always, and her son me with a lofty no compromise kind of quality aspiration. am not doing any fuckin yoga that doesn't lead me to a result in this life. fuck you maa..............
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