psychic-opening

Indicators of the unveiling of the psychic being.

so all i've had all these years has been the psychic opening. And the nature is in the process of being prepared for the psychic transformation.This will take time, so am wallowing in the mud living a life with the family, consistent and in line with this psychic opening i've had. i see....so that's what it is. god but things happen so slow. so full of interruptions, one has to persist.

so i have accessed their help both direct and from there in the mental plane. first you read a book and the thing you understand spontaneously and the other is when you dont understand a thing but things organise themselves in life through these complicated difficult process. i dare say anything direct i have experienced..... other than the touches in the heart[psychic] , even if there had been anything direct, it has been without clarity in the vital and the mental parts. Infact it's been quite a struggle in the vital and body. But reading about the guys who have had these premature kundalini awakening and the physical deterioration, i guess its better to fight and wallow in the mud.

But i have to thank the failures in the vital and in the body becos' they have prevented the movement in the wrong direction until one realize it's too late [like how this sandeep says].one knows every moment what is the wrong direction. so even if one takes wrong direction atleast one knows that it is the wrong direction better than not knowing and travelling.

 oNe takes a call and pursues this, after all what has one to lose other than one's ego, in this life.

But this little has been done in my case only at the riddance of  all economic social norms and status things.

So the question of psychic transformation is not "whether" it will happenn, it is when it will happen?

what after this psychic transformation i dont know but i guess it continues, the adventure...... aah my back pain...... ok see you. God mate it's good to know exactly where one stands so i thank for this temporary loss of health and faith. It lasts for usually a day or 2 until mom comes along and picks me up. i wish am clean without lust and anger and ......Its good to know where one stands.....thanks to this sandeep guy.....thanks mate lord.

 

FAMILY TIME

dude its simple

no one is in hurry, d has planned

this for a 1000 or300 years

and you are demanding the results

citing "the imperfection needing the

perfection", which is based on the

family life's needs "for the now",

both are conflicting,

 of course if you ask for individual

life's need for perfection some of

these issues could be worked out

taking the right attitude without any

care as to time, money, but come

family comes all the problems

associated with it,your insistence on

finishing a task in time in lieu of

or in relation to the family's time

for the d-time is the issue

It is in contradcition with this 1000

or 300 year thing.

Ofcourse no one cares a shit to this

age old problem........

This thing has got to be done  in

d-timeline with absolute honesty not

in any other timeline.cos they end up

in conflicting and crashing.

what will be its chances of success

in the dtimeline, i dont know becos

that may again have its own

protracted battles continuing for 300

years, but atleast this conflict will

be avoided. This analysis is so

simple and matter of fact, honest and

stating the circumstance as it

exists.

if some one says this is a way of

dividing the ordinary from spiritual,

then she is saying that the way is

for perfected souls, like may be like

a janaka

the other thing the d could say is

get out of family and then do these.

That i think applies to guys like my

soul, but ...... am afraid if i will

do that in the near future.

to whom so ever it will be of concern, always do read the post next to the ramblings like the above, there will be some clarity after the confusion.

D nizen

maa i dont possibly have the

experience of DNA changing or the

cosmic rays from sun doing things

with the body or my pineal gland

enlarging or other stuffs like the

5th dimension entry into it some kind

of vibratory difference in the

cosmos....

but the spirit and your presence is

enough maa, yes i know isaid like

what is the use of your presence, if

what you ask me to do is so damn

impossibly difficult to do in the

"current phase" of life, may be with

these phases and the workings the

life as they say will also change, of

course "only" with a little bit of

"your generous help" idont know....

but then i know i have some physical

experiences and you say to me wait and

see what happens where is the end?

there is no end to adventure even

inside a limited space, that's how i

relate this experience of sandhai

with the Koch's flake i read about.

so all these talks of vibration look

a little too premature to me. do they

or would they have gone thro'

experineces like these inside the

limted and finite, i mean do they

have the experince of the infinite in

the finite, if not how can they

predict these things accurately.

using the buffet like mind, it tells

me some elements of discontent

grumble emotions are mixed up in the

form of data beautifully with just

"some" spiritual glimpse one may have

got. which could not be the entire

truth that it will happen.

So i will wait for the truth to

present itself to me, learn to cling

to it like a magnet and also wait for

complete truth, before embarking on

this new age phenomenon,but surely i

see things cooking below and waiting

in line all the new age stuffs but i

think they will take time to

materialize.

 so am being a good player now and

look forward to playing the role of a

samsari in this world. But then who

am i to deny these, if it is

someone's genuine experience of some

advanced soul. Time will tell. maa ,

here is your "d"nizen at service for

how much ever longer a life you will

give me.

for now equality is the process,

practice and goal for the current

phase of life. the "d" nizen life

amongst the citizens. Its tough. BUt

it's what the lord wants me to

understand,if i want to do his work

in this world and i got to be fit

down to the physical if one wants to

withstand the impacts.

also a word about vocabulary, it

seems one of the purpose of language

was to point out the impostors

nuisances, dark forces in clear

specific precise ways, so they could

be worked on. i dont know lets see...

the self seeking and the dynamic self

been reading warren buffet, been hooked onto to people claiming fantastic things,about the new age on the net. been forlorn about how am not fitting in this society, since i have taken to SA and the mother. But today an experience of "that something" in stillness while i was reading "non utility warren buffet book" without being  calculative, sweeping the most material negatives of life, including a bit of pain in the body was revealing to me as to how fast things change and how subtle this thing happens.

But then again the attacks of negative stuffs, kept coming back the kind of things SA will say in letters on yoga, like dukha or something it' s vital depression..It kept coming back. Evening, the D. puppeteer made me go to a place called SANDHAI, something like a bazaar of assorted products of all sorts,second sales, things like that "with the buffet book in my hand". originally the plan was to head towards the library. bUT THE d CHOSE THIS WITH bUFFET BOOK, was hittng the right chords in me, for i experienced the true spirit of capitalism at work here, something i did not see in the big companies i had worked for in my short career.. INfact those big companies were more of show and hollowness without  i dont know "something" that should be there.

It is interesting the thing buffet speaks out for, can be seen  living in a nook of a corner here in chennai.it has minimum followers there in the west and the Indian experience of copying has resulted in an inadequate model, if not entirely a copy of false models and benchmarks..,without the original spirit. i dont know may be in some fields like IT where India is doing well things are not like what am guessing or may be its a mixture of both here.Local economies like these Bazaars must definitely be encouraged. An aspect of the dynamic self in commerce was experienced by myself.

am not anymore forlorn or apprehensive about meeting the society, back from this withdrawal for about 2 years becos' i have the inner experiences to back me,  and now after this experience i realize what actually really succeeds. The things they call success are nothing but bubbles that bursts random. depending on the random luck some are  inside this bubble and for some it is busted all in frequent and cruel random cycles. Longer the period, everyone experiences this busting experience with a shock.

To quote the lord "if it is silence it is inside HER you look for it. IF IT IS SELF REALIZATION WHAT IS THAT SELF IF NOT  HERSELF. if it is the dynamic self , then also it is through her that all things are attained." the spirit leads everywhere. the puppeteer at work always, therE is no other. Lets see how it goes...... meet you 2013.

my cosmic journeys. am i absurd.....

yes i hope with my leaving this place, which is what it is looking like now, there will be some change for the better, i pray maa she brings some sort of understanding between these two. buT maa . what was a huge momentary problem for  me and i was moving on to forget and forgive and move on seems like thorns in which these fellows are stuck with. so from that  perspective you can understand these fellows are living a momentary life they dont care for depth or clarity or civility they are blind and deaf. that angers me. yes it was double trouble for me but this like everythinmg needs godsolving , which is even better than dissolving. but i dont how he will do this particular problem i have no idea., leave it to you maa. forgive me. but i think i have some sensitivity and anger issues, going by some recent events.this was imposed on me, this friction, like a burden on top of another heavy burden. but there has been other instances of friction which have been arbitrarily imposed on  be by fate like that school teen boy crashing into me even when i was already walking in a corner of the road and i had to to avoid a clash go sideways to make way for him and his friends so they could walk like a mob talking on road. they didn't care who was coming on from the other end whether there is a need for some civility, come on i cant possibly crash into the parked vehicles to make way for these guys. so i decide i will no not turn sideways, again this split second attitude was a sequel toan incident that happened a day before this, wherein a guy was talking over the phone oblivious, [while that boy was impervious, this man was oblivious] blocking the entry to the door and i like typical gopi squeezed into the little gap i got... didn't see the hook that was waiting there for me and my shoulder and boy it hurt bad leaving a lingering pain. And that was the background to this incident with this teen boy. And this impervious teen boy crashes and am baffled as to what is wrong with the world gave my usual angry stare to him. But he just coolly asked sorry and casually went about walking with his friends in the same way. So is it the cosmic lord telling me something i dont know. you have no say in these things when you are in the cosmics without the constant capacity to discriminate between the truth and the false in this field[cosmic]. it sure is a minefield like this in Sadhana but i guess mom 's grace protects me from these incidents [ others where i have been involved in minor skirmshes in the buses,trains and some near escapes from accidents, all a result of my karma and my impurities and subconscious elements playing in the cosmic field] Mom protects ,me in this journey, in this sadhana by a boy who consented to the great travel but who didn't know the distance or the difficulty . thank mom. i can ask her to protect all but that would be quite improbable if the earth wants to move on, so i ask her to protect all who have shown a glimmer of soul possibility in them and are in that process atleast in some measure.

is showing the mirror a wrong method?

so there is nothing i can do in these fights, am i the reason, for any of these. i was annoyed this afternoon becos i was watching tv and this fellow has the speaker loud on. yes i did it one day because this fellow i was sure was sitting in that hall and creating negativity in the main living hall  while am struggling here with work it was double pressure so the tv was so loud i decided i shall do the same thing he's doing and he got upset for showing him the mirror. and he has got the opportunity throwing dirty shit again and again whenever the situation gets tough for him releasing his inner shit at us. and the guy with his head phones on his ear which by the way is another story, i got him his favorite songs and he started raping those songs playing them loud and repeatedly i don't know for the nth time in the main hall. ended up regretting why i did that favor. so i complained or made my unpleasant reaction clear a lot of times either directly or through mother, to mom and asked him to use his headphones  again he did that as a means to letting go of his frustrations at work, which is fine if that helps you but then you are not satisfied and still end up boozing.and yesterday i was at peace silently working, with the same headphones he was now madly beating the chair for some song without any rhythm totally jarring almost in an inebriated condition absolutely rapes your immediate environment am watching helplessly i dont know what to do, this is like too small an issue that i don't want to pick up a fight on. my mother also probably felt the same but guess what, that is where these fellows create the problem, and stay in smaller issues stuck up inside their gutter brain chemicals. now if india would have gone and attacked pakistan for an issue like a terrorist entering their zone imagine what happens, its war. its no different here. best attitude seemed like tolerance. but tolerance is no big virtue that should be scrupulously followed. every now and then you show the mirror and these guys a storm is stirred up and asshole he shows it on my weak mother, poor gomathy. so if had talked to him directly letting him know a piece of mind would that have been a better solution. it's been a long time since i have had any meaningful coversation with this a.hole. am struggling with my own issues,didn't want double the trouble, so cant say if directly dealing with this fellow would have been any different, may it would lead to more of his shitty ego bruised. But the woman in his life my mom pays the price for not being strong and dynamic. if she had been she would have left him long time back. i cant help her. she has chosen her destiny. it is she and her gods.The situation is imbalance coupled with king ego and revenge and frustration and liquor that is too much for my mother to handle but am sure it is not tough for d'mom .