drishhtim

Maa, Finding the intuitive plane, discriminate it from other things using

the intellect, teach it to not doubt and give up has been my chief and

long standing difficulty. Add to this the world you live in, you bring

on "the cosmic ignorance" and sometimes even "the Lying spirits". 

Continuing on, whatever the problem, "the psychic attitude"  described

and stressed by Maa is the  thing that can save anyone from this

journey.the intuitive faculty not being at its best and mistakes and

errors as part of life, it is this psychic attitude that brings me back

to the path.

 Also in my case, i found out that one of the ways to deal with the

above problem is to work on our Lower Vital. some of the passages in

"Letters on Yoga" about this Lower Vital has been illuminating my path. Help me cross over maa, please help maa, please maa help maa, forgive my ignorance please help maa, p[lease help maa. please help maa, please help maa, please help maa..

folk song

yeah a folk song from a movie and Savitri, that's the combination am reading .........sithirai nila.......

So must the dim being grow in light and force
And rise to his higher destiny at last,
Look up to God and round at the universe,
And learn by failure and progress by fall
And battle with environment and doom,
By suffering discover his deep soul
And by possession grow to his own vasts....

Blood.

[see gopi, you are yet to be free, but still there is this thing you know you have to do, it is not taking "the wrong forces" as your support, "the conditions and limits", being these....., first aware of the wrong impulses, or forces, movements and the hiding forces behind them mostly vile and hideous[in the name of dancing and liberating], saying yes to them and or giving a voice to them with the intent of expressing or bringing them even unconsciously to "the physical" as a means of support ends up in blood. i am guessing even in the mental and in the vital , it has had similiar kind of consequences although you didn't see blood exactly [and so didn't see the actual thing these things lead to- the physical misfortune] but i do understand them now, the movements maa, after having closely observed them for long,it was the same drifting, careless, without morals and "falsely free", while being bound to the flesh and other corresponding mental and vital mediums on the net. even in this preparatory and re conciliatory lifestyle, this is fraught with the risk of going away from mom. Be careful. Mom's there but your support is with Mom, despite a thousand difficulties in nature, if you have taken, even an unconscious support in other things it has ended up bad all times, this time in the physical, with this minor accident.Other times they must have had the consequences you didn't realize or understand. Mom's grace i invoke maa protection, please maa forgive the ignorance .............i understand this a little better and yes i shall try and see how to arrive free before you, so you can work more on me, oh lord.... seek your help in this direction Lord.....solve the problems, untie the knots.....i dont fear you lord........ i love you............

rhythm

"The life of the individual must have the same rhythm of significance, the same law of progression as the cosmic life; its place in that rhythm cannot be a stray purposeless intervention, it must be an abiding instrumentation of the cosmic purpose. - Sri Auro"

ofcourse bindo Boss says this in a

bigger concept while trying to

explain the rebirth of the individual

soul and its purpose here, which some

claim to be without purpose and

effect.

so will i be right in taking this as

an idea in life to lead life

according to the rhythms of the

cosmic life. and not this haste which

i subject myself to, out of fear or

some reason, from time to time.

But living that rhythm requires a different choice for Life. A different approach to Life that is radically distinct in its priorities than the one i lead now. But if such is the reality of my Life then why does the God grace me with this particular experience again and again knowing fully well this guy gopi is still leading a Life mixed up with his instincts for money success family etc. etc. etc. am  terribly dual In this life, seeing the inner highs and the all -too- frequent-known-lows.  Following traditional Kundalini type yoga i would have gone down by now. But this seems like something is slow, steady, persisting ever ready to seep in. totally unstoppable by anything but it takes its own time, and requires that its conditions be met in Life. This particular process going on has to see its fullfillment in this Life lORD AM I NOT RIGHT , IF SO HOW CAN I HELP ,,,,,,,maa save me from errors maa...........please maa share my burden, maa.......... the "haste movement" is something am unable to stop at this point, but i detected it this evening in my evening walk back home, once the haste was controlled "the things" got back to normal, but entering home pursuing this  so called effort for a job i got into that haste mode or some type of corrupt mode again, i dont know but it is the summation of this unconscious "attraction of struggle and suffering" making the cross as my goal when my intent is clearly to get outside this vicious cycle. maa i had alittle victory this evening before all these happened , when i colored a beautiful "TORCH" illuminating a little dark patch.[pastel].  And so it is like how auro says the darks are so huge a single flame is not enough for the nooks and corners, it gets lost this flame....... The joy of victory is sometimes less than the attraction of struggle and suffering, yet the bay, not the cross should be the goal of conquering the soul- SA .

tere bina kya jeena maa

nenjukkuleey umma mudinchirukken..........nectar eyes..........you playing tabla with this world and other crazy thoughts.................... this is english maa........to actually set oneself for the journey to prepare for it to stay prepared for it is so tough....... maa.................make it possible maa......give me the faith that is needed in the "becoming" complete faith in that becoming............. yeh you said it maa, i ask for it maa,

past week

these were the things i had to say to maa- this past week........

1] Maa don't know how but this morning after the usual night slumber  found myself complaining saying_ " maa am sick, short of time, and I don't know what is to be done for work." and then a little while later am Being  before you saying maa here's the concentration for the sadhana consciousness Saying this without any mental strain effort, but as some kind of a natural  result of an "ever present calm" which one is increasingly finding in the movements, which seems to have percolated the external consciousness, weakening the morning syndrome . ended up the day on an inspiring note sketching a piece of art plastic cast which i got from the sandhai) in record time. quite a revelation of the progress one has made, and one can make . while i type this am reminded of the words in The Life Divine- "Life where it choses to conquer, it conquers....."
2] Some part of me that is separate, above ,during these difficult circumstances (mom crying in agony - pain) which was from the inner living- that said maa although I want to leave this place for the library (cos' anyway I can't help them anyway, neither am I responsible for their pain), I still will prefer to do what you will . And then the movements........... she(mom) cries, and my rebellious nonchalant attitude  readying myself to leave and then she cries, pleading me to stay for receiving the cylinder.and then the quiet silent thing above takes over leading me to volunteer to bring the auto for dad mani(whom i was inner scolding for mom-mathy 's difficult karma for the future and he's delaying and slow when someone's in intense pain) to take mommathy to the doc.but as stated above the higher thing knows and decides or should decide every minute thing in life,whatever be the circumstances .
3] so dont bother if your social outer avatar looks bad atleast it is truly reflecting the fight of the inner and higher regions and most importantly you are aware of it, while the rest of the humanity is busy propping up their weak already dismantled "outer", dressing it up again and again and following each other in a vain ever repeating generational pass-time.

their support is science. should be overridden. but how????? i dont know.

petty tyrants everywhere

becos petty slavery everywhere.Unfortunately you have not only to meet them from your point of view but also from the view of the other weak human who may be unconscious and is dependent on you, but is also stuck with the tyrant as part of his/her karma. Lord man give me the relevant required power if you want me to do these on a constant basis in the near future.

Lover's dilemma.....

there is but "my Yoga with the lord" that i have to be concerned about. yes i got a bit carried away by emotions in that forum, but couldn't stand the difficulty and doubt in my mind being echoed there in that forum as a " genuine phenomenon; with a sense of inevitabilility, defeatist, lacakadaisical spirit of approach to yoga , this guy asking people to follow elementary bhakti, karma jnana, and then hope to be saved by some future event. How stale and without spirit. Someone there is asking for a customization of yoga path to suit the individual.some other guy is mocking at the followers for they find it difficult. This guy is happy that his post is being found useful and all helpful to a bunch of non believers and possibly morons. However happy that, some sane voices came to support me as well.Through whatever way you are coming to yoga it [ thro mind or throu heart] should be like as if your very daily life depended on it, this can happen by choice or by circumstances as in my case. However i do understand a little better the reasons for their way of thinking or the stuff of their way of thinking.[ people]. everyone's in the ride of the Karma cycle and quite happy and content with a little safety from the divine, with nature itself accommodating the process, what else do they need.  And here am praying to break out of it . i have stated also my dilemma to the lord in clear terms.......it is for him to claim me , while am busy  preparing for the future,as per his guidance, and reconciling Life .