these were the things one had to handle while keepin one's aspiration for the divine, and a career in sight,

Recurring neck trouble;

constant fatigue;

worn out eye trouble;

long standing knee trouble;

demand for physical activity amidst these troubles;

call for sacrifices from petty pleasures in life;

sacrifice desire; total detachment ;

Put it simple words all nagging physical pains and pleasures; all the problems from outside; both together;

Total lack of will to fight;

impossibility of the task hits you at your face, with not even a hint of a success at a nearby future, and total zero vision of one's possibilities in "THIS LIFE" brings the so called sadhana to a grinding halt, once again; something pretty strongly suggests that one is not made for the spiritual life's demands, ok [ no difference in spiritual ordinary idea being] , but this no difference theory calls for detachment from even the family, and how does inevitable event like marriage[ which one is bound by for the family] reconcile with these demands, i mean how can one do these things with a woman who will hardly know what my life is. Million dollar questions which no person can answer apart from an empty call for battle without expecting anything not even the final result.