Why doesn't efforts come to a finality

Struggle, struggle, struggle..................all the way.................... am getting impatient and angry at the voice that says you are impatient, fuckin work place again,[ nth time in my life] interrupts the way i learn stuffs, and the perrineal problem of earning a livelihood [added pressure of marriage and PROPERTY] fuck u all morons for putting pressure on me like this, while having this need to grow organically in my own pace and manner. Its brutal squeezing that requires absolute perfection at all levels to face it. Bloody lord, dont even dream i'll do this the day i no longer need to do this, all my communications with u will stop.

Absolutely useless forums.

Why would discussing about the inner struggles of nature and their manifestation in outer life be such a taboo in all the forums online related to aurobindo and the Mother. They quote, quote , and keep quoting without an attempt to explain how or what they had quoted has actually been materialized in their life. or what's the problem with nature they are facing right now.

Animal Instincts

While in the day one can pretend to ignore them, gloss over them, they are quite ruthless in the night....... when there's hardly any mental control. Will some one say to me what's the whole point.???????? Ok not just desire , can other stuffs like fear, narrowness, jealousy, be also worn out of my nature and i can be FREE!!!!!!!????????????? Can i be another man? Or is it like how that Karmayogi says, exists only in fiction. And Mother offers that to you.