It's something i've been realizing more and more, after all it's attempts to make me feel like unsuccessful unwealthy basically making me feel like lacking in everytrhing that it has set up as its bench mark for successfull social living. Now am totally convinced. i played it's game i understood the futility of what it calls success and fame, bullshit with this world, all our intellectual toil the so called innovative and organized lifestyle nothing but disasters waiting to happen without the sanction of the one thing i've realized to be the reason for all the things, it's the divine.
But to play the game from the Divine's side also hasn't been easy infact it has been double the labour so it's like a cycle complete for me, donno what to do, it's so tough, what mom says, i should be there i see some light at the end of the tunnel, but am kind of hesitant, fallen yet again, i really dont have a choice in this regard you gotta keep moving, am taking the next best solution which is [simple joy of exploration in my work as my motivation and continue with my faltering steps in this sadhana]. whether or not i want my life invariably becomes Sadhana. Because i try to stay with the pure simple harmony and the forces within me gather up all their mighty strength and knock me down to prove their mighty pettiness of their strength.
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