Knit and Synthesize

This is something one does at each level of the ascent.That is where am right now. when you pledge yourself to a serious pursuit in line somehow with a spiritual endeavor as well, even if this pursuit be a worldly one, two things happen.what are they. If you are honest and sufficiently sincere you are made to see how the process is mostly happening by itself, sustaining itself..you are not allowed to give up........making minimum use of what you call the labored hard work..... and second is the world resistance that is inside and outside.These two are the things to be conquered in time and space.

it is important to knit and synthesize on a hard lesson learnt through repeated experiences and culminating in a major or significant event, with the current repetitive hard experiences, it is wrong to discontinue the effort or divert the effort complaining rambling, grumbling, taking on depressive attitudes or taking recourse to udAsinta, the present difficulties are future realizations or strengths.......... one should not forget to synthesize and continue the effort. Very Important while i wait for thee in life to manifest.

So present terrible looking, dead end difficulties, don't make the past concrete experiences irrelevant. Rather it has to be knit and synthesized. This is tough for the mind to understand but not difficult for the will, the heart. Reason and spiritual rationality also plays a helpful role here to keep the balance and perspective.

OK so this how the story built up for the season..........

I clearly understood the stage where sadhana culminates..... but where it begins in my life am not sure because i live not in any form of controlled environment but in an open hostile environ..... within a family,so it was first difficult to accept what Sri Aurobindo explained to a fellow living the world life to take it as a preparatory stage. why it was difficult for me to accept that??? It is the sheer effort i put for a long time now , for the sheer number of times or things i say "NO" makes me believe am already in Sadhana,yet when Sri Aurobindo states this

"if you have any strong attraction towards the usual human
active life, towards earning, bright prospects, the use of your
capacities for the ordinary motives or on the ordinary plane
of human consciousness, you ought not to leave everything
behind you for what may after all be only a mental attraction
towards spiritual ideals and Yoga."


temporarily this put me off or poured cold water on my attempts especially when i was down. However then when i further read the other parts regarding an entirely world life

Guru says-
"In this stage aspiration in the
heart with prayer, bhakti, meditation, a will to offer the life to
the Divine are the important things. Purification of the nature is
the first aim to be achieved. There should be no over-eagerness
for experiences but such as come should be observed and, if
helpful to the right attitude and true development, accepted. All
that flatters the ego or feeds it should be rejected. There should
be no impatience if the progress is slow or difficulties many—
all should be done in a calm patience—and full reliance on the
Divine Mother. This period tests the capacity of the sadhak and
the sincerity of his aspiration towards the Divine."

one cools down, calms down, takes a walk [of all the stuffs this is the one activity that is amazing when i do it in times of confusion and chaos- The walk], watches a cinema,does the wrong thing, and the effect of Guru vada begins to be slowly felt inside.

One arrives at a balance and perspective, if one takes the right attitude realizing the opportunity that awaits here in one's life considering the experiences one has had.

here are the resulting thoughts of this balance and perspective that one got from Guru knitting and synthesizing the experiences with the resulting expression of these thoughts.



point number one here to understand is that it doesn't seem like it is just a mental attraction as am forced,cajoled,moved by emotion, by longing, by memories and a lot of other things that take me strictly out of this category of some one doing stuffs with a mental vairagya.

point number two is that i have no natural inclination for external accomplishment anymore, yet i am kind of forced by circumstances to be in the look out for the aforesaid things, but that clearly doesn't make me entirely a man of the world or grihasta as i don't seem to have the appetite.This might seem like escaping but...............

when i take this life up and wait following the great man vivekananda's fearless ideals without too much emphasis on morals and Sri Aurobindo's clear directions for the present, that gives me balance to continue with hope with that silent burning aspiration inside for the divine.

I accept this My dear Guru. The lord.