faith has come crashing down. putting me in a depressive state. what's this, who's will are you following. guess it 'd not have made a difference to the divine, whether i worked in a call center or spent my time doing art or become a 3d modeler......while it makes all the difference in the world to my mind. why you may ask....
i followed 2 quotes from SA' APHORISM
1] care not for time and success
2] Even if you dont have the means still act, it is only by acting that thy capacity increases
Literally put this into operation in Life..... and so you see this created an explosive combination or link between their yoga and Life as it existed for me in the world, with my family, environment, personal history and personal capacity.
now i see that one is being ignored, left incomplete without any support or sustenance or furthermore encouragement for the things one has done in the world.
This also casts a huge aspersion on my fitness to take the spiritual path in the future.
Therefore am stopping all communication until there's some help and clarity and more importantly a definitive call from above and within.
maa you said there is a time factor for the play but not an abandoning or disbanding or lack of encouragement or a helpful push in Life for the endeavours..........
answer my questions if you want me to stick around and cling to you.......
it doesn't help dubbing everything i done so far as works for the sake of passion and not guided by reason or any higher stuffs, as i seriously believed that 8 out of those 8 works had some input from the higher things.....and i have no way of confirming this "but you can confirm this",and help me in the physical plane towards a job...... nevertheless i find my whole approach towards the divine very dubious and unsustainable.
i find my mind in no position to counter this absurdity of position even for a second, it breaks up the will spontaneously. mind in confusion. no enthusiasm. no energy. no will. total revolt.
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