cruel

maa your direction for me to do sadhan in this manner

smacks of extracting unfair labour from a human, who is

under terrible limitations and restrictions and

resistances. If you say it is the D who is going thro

all these then there is no more argument, but that is

self realization isn't it? But then how does one go

towards the self, if this monthly exist-tense keeps on

repeating endlessly. Calling it a spider web and that

one will arrive at something seems like an implausible

argument that i have allowed into my system of beliefs

to logically counter the effects of monotonous

repetitiveness of the effort without any external

result. Or am i the case of Hari Mohan , who has got to

wait for several births to attainment. It makes me

cringe.... this whole process.how slow and repetitive

and obscure and imperfect,impure,insulting,painful,

drudgery, cruel, and what not ........