maa - help please

.....then this arbitrary decision of the "mind effort" not in integration with the other parts.

 and now apart from the petrification becos of the arbitrary decision of the mind[without taking into account the other parts of the being], this added fear about the future in which yogic concentration will once again be under threat of.....mechanical activity..... or not possible or subject to the same unfavorable surrounding, and another fear that this kind of inner Life cannot be lived by making a choice for money [ for the dependant parents].  and that is where this guy the fanatic of the idea enters to stop the abortive result of the spiritual effort, ends up in ****..