my cosmic journeys. am i absurd.....

yes i hope with my leaving this place, which is what it is looking like now, there will be some change for the better, i pray maa she brings some sort of understanding between these two. buT maa . what was a huge momentary problem for  me and i was moving on to forget and forgive and move on seems like thorns in which these fellows are stuck with. so from that  perspective you can understand these fellows are living a momentary life they dont care for depth or clarity or civility they are blind and deaf. that angers me. yes it was double trouble for me but this like everythinmg needs godsolving , which is even better than dissolving. but i dont how he will do this particular problem i have no idea., leave it to you maa. forgive me. but i think i have some sensitivity and anger issues, going by some recent events.this was imposed on me, this friction, like a burden on top of another heavy burden. but there has been other instances of friction which have been arbitrarily imposed on  be by fate like that school teen boy crashing into me even when i was already walking in a corner of the road and i had to to avoid a clash go sideways to make way for him and his friends so they could walk like a mob talking on road. they didn't care who was coming on from the other end whether there is a need for some civility, come on i cant possibly crash into the parked vehicles to make way for these guys. so i decide i will no not turn sideways, again this split second attitude was a sequel toan incident that happened a day before this, wherein a guy was talking over the phone oblivious, [while that boy was impervious, this man was oblivious] blocking the entry to the door and i like typical gopi squeezed into the little gap i got... didn't see the hook that was waiting there for me and my shoulder and boy it hurt bad leaving a lingering pain. And that was the background to this incident with this teen boy. And this impervious teen boy crashes and am baffled as to what is wrong with the world gave my usual angry stare to him. But he just coolly asked sorry and casually went about walking with his friends in the same way. So is it the cosmic lord telling me something i dont know. you have no say in these things when you are in the cosmics without the constant capacity to discriminate between the truth and the false in this field[cosmic]. it sure is a minefield like this in Sadhana but i guess mom 's grace protects me from these incidents [ others where i have been involved in minor skirmshes in the buses,trains and some near escapes from accidents, all a result of my karma and my impurities and subconscious elements playing in the cosmic field] Mom protects ,me in this journey, in this sadhana by a boy who consented to the great travel but who didn't know the distance or the difficulty . thank mom. i can ask her to protect all but that would be quite improbable if the earth wants to move on, so i ask her to protect all who have shown a glimmer of soul possibility in them and are in that process atleast in some measure.