Tuesday, June 24, 2014

DTTAH - no spiritual call yet

Yeah, Dont Try This At Home,  if you dont have a spiritual call. You should have clearly stated about this I. Yoga. Yeah i know SA has said you could try some form of Gita yoga as a preparation at Home...... but in trying or making it more than that i have failed miserably in all ways...... in this Life...... Going thro some of the Advaita  summaries...  it is clear that one needs a thorough programme related to the pursuit of the self experience or even the sOUL EXPERIENCE THat is the  aTMAN. Even Ramakrishna a kali worshipper practiced a bit of Tantra became a muslim and even prayed before christ, with such a vast all embracing approach, if we see his Life it is clear that he went about his Life with a spiritual agenda, met various people learnt things from them..... who have i met in Life or have i ever had a thorough agenda like those people had.....their Life stories are strangely similiar to a very successful student in a specific stream of academics who goes onto meet people enriching his environs.... studies stuffs related, researches and then comes out the master. Every one even SA and the Mother have gone through this Routine, in my case not a single event of this nature has happened and a parentage as difficult as this my dad has kicked me as a boy for not filling up the toilet bucket as and when  it goes empty.....slapped me on the street for going away by mistake knowing he didn't have a key to open the door. Beat me for some insignificant reasons reportedly for bad marks on an insignificant exam..... Endless is my ordeal with this fellow.... and now have fallen to the level of giving it back to him........ but then it was a response to him troubling and assaulting my Mother, another one of things that goes against my so called spirituality am so attached to my mOther cant see harm to her....

Reading the story of a Lion that grew up with the sheeps and believed he  is a sheep....  is my case  similiar....no. Till yesterday when this unsavory incident the brawl with this fellow no strong experience has told me in no uncertain terms .... me am a lion..always it's like i encourage and reassure  myself.... had a dream kissing a LION though, but what is actually meant by the Lion  in the story is the knowledge of the Brahman which need to be there constantly as the base rhythm of my Life......... my very parentage and the ordeals and the limited spiritual programme with which i have set out in Life suggests spiritual call is absent i have been forced by my Karma to approach the divine in the status of artha, and then now trying to proceed into artha arthi which seems for now like a failure......now how to move into jignasu.....it is mind boggling.....

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